3/15/08: watch out, California! I'm on my way to San Diego via Long Beach from 3/17 to 3/21 and am looking for great company. I'll stay at a clothing optional place in SD near Hillcrest, and hope to get to Black's and San Onofre beaches more than once each while I'm in town in my rented convertible. Those with irregular schedules who want to join me are urged to get in touch. Also looking for lunch/dinner/grabbing a beer companions...come on, guys, show me how it's done in San Diego.
1/23/08: I have been friending a fair number of folks lately so I'm feeling obliged to write a few words of explanation. Most likely, I've friended you because I've felt or seen something unique about you, and that we'd mutually benefit from being friends. I hope that you agree. I'm working hard to get back into the world, to write, to reach out, to figure out where my I fit in both the gay and conventional worlds all over again after taking some time off to hibernate (see below) for health and family reasons. I have a voice, dreams, and a lot to say, and I'm driven to use my talents well. When I left my lucrative and secure job/nest in 2005, it was to soar and not to crash and burn. So I'm determined that the next "real job" I take, if any, will involve something about which I'm deeply passionate. I'm also determined to maximize my personal opportunity to make an outstanding mark on the world during the next half of my life -- perhaps 48 years (49 in April) since medical science insists on making us live so damn much longer. So when do I start counting backward? My grandfather, my life hero, lived until he was 97: well, I probably don't have to start yet. Any questions? Just ask.
Bio: Partnered gay man, feels and acts younger than his late 40's age (haven't grown up by now, why should I start?) Out ten years as of National Coming Out Day, October 11, 2007. Late starter, but totally made up for lost time (blazed some amazing trails through gay Chicago and a few other places before settling down.) Have spent more than half of that period with Jim, the love of my life. We have two pre-teen kids, they are the center of our lives and take most of our time and energy, as it should be. Jim and I are very much opposites: I'm quirky, off-center, artistic, outgoing, public-spirited, (somewhat) free-spending, moody, a political and party animal, a writer, a late night person. He's quiet, reserved, nose-to-the-grindstone, reliable, spendthrift, a numbers guy, a great cook, shy, an early morning person. We're both unfailingly loyal, great friends, interesting, love travel, crazy about each other (still horny for each other after all these years), careful and good parents, particular doglovers, and total homebodies. Not necessarily a match made it heaven, but it works and we have weathered some storms together. We're hunkered down for the long term in the four story townhouse fortress that we built together four years ago here in historic Oak Park, IL, the first suburb west of Chicago.
If you'd like to know more about me and my family, here are a few details: after fifteen years with the federal government, I left in search of a better and more fulfilling way to make a living almost 2.5 years ago. I was hounded out of my job by a crazy, closeted lesbian minister, but I needed to get out of there anyway. This happened at a time when my autistic 10 year-old son was very much in need of more stability in his life, so my being home for him was critical. I had an internet business selling gay-oriented leather goods (real nice stuff) which I imported from the Ukraine, but the suppliers were crooks and so it went south. In the two years since then, my little family and I -- myself, my partner, my son and my younger daughter -- have faced some real challenges. These have included my son's autism and depression (including his hospitalization), my back/kidney stone surgeries and lung blood clots (two hospitalizations) and depression, and the grave illness of my partner's sweet mother (still ongoing.) It has also involved some inevitable fallout, particularly for my terrific pre-teen daughter, that which goes along with being part of a family that has a unique composition and set of challenges, including two dads, a mom, and a brother with gifts and uniqueness.
Over the last few months, I've made a very strong effort to break out of the hard protective shell I'd created around myself and my loved ones as all of these events unfolded, since the result was an unintended isolation from most except family. I'm also trying to get fit after my health issues, but it's relatively unfamiliar ground for me as I've been a bit of a slacker in this area of my life and so I'm learning, slowly and rather painfully. I've sold real estate during this tumultuous time, but not much of it and I'm figuring it all out (see a pattern developing here? Life-long learner) in a down market. Ideally, I'd like to make a living just doing that, but I'll probably have to also do something else soon (hopefully from home) until the market rebounds. I have not only a Realtor but also a law license, and haven't found a spot yet but I'm zeroing in on a few possibilities.
Be a friend, be in touch, be real and be as available as you want to or can be and I'll respond in kind...just don't be negative or judgmental. Walk a mile in our shoes before you pull that mess, sister. I treat people just as I expect to be treated. Always.
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